Top 5 Worst Cakes to Make if You’re Trying to Stay Married
Look, some cakes were born to test your patience, your oven, and your relationship. I'm telling you now, if your boo breaks up with you over a dry sponge or undercooked center, you can't say I didn’t warn you. Here’s the list.
The 27-Step Croquembouche - A tower of cream puffs glued together with boiling sugar? Sis, unless your name is Martha Stewart and your soul is Teflon, skip it. Divorce rates spike every time someone says “just one more layer.”
The 6-Layer Rainbow Cake with Ganache Between Each One - No one needs that much color. Or stress. It’s like asking your relationship to survive Pride, a gender reveal, and a midlife crisis all at once.
Black Forest Cake (the German one, not the Pinterest lie) - Cherries, chocolate, whipped cream... and a guaranteed mess on your floor, your counters, your soul. Unless you like fighting over how long to soak the damn sponge in Kirsch.
Anything Requiring a Blowtorch - You’re not on Top Chef. Your man is not Gordon Ramsay. You’re gonna scorch the meringue, then each other. Let it go.
Vegan Gluten-Free Avocado Chocolate Cake - No. Just...no. If you’re gonna sin, sin correctly. The only thing this cake will satisfy is your therapist’s wallet.
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